Lately

Lately I have been thinking about what is going on with my life. What do I aspire to? What is it that I'm supposed to be doing in this world? I know that so many other people here at SMU are trying to answer these same questions. There is a world of possibilities. The world is becoming such a smaller place and the opportunities for people to expand themselves and take place in the global market is insane... I think, however, that many of my fellow classmates really aren't thinking about this as far as the long term is concerned. Most people seem to be consumed with social events, boyfriends, and just getting through their next test or paper. It's frustrating because the world is growing all around us and my generation is going to be largely responsible for helping America keep up with our Asian and European counterparts. It scares me that people aren't looking ahead, aren't aspiring to change the world. I wish that people would just take a look at themselves and really think about what it is about them that is special and unique and how they can use it to make a difference, because EVERYONE can and should make a difference...

The Butterfly Effect

I know that it probably seems riduculous to be posting on a movie that came out more than two years ago, but I just saw it and I have alot of feelings about it. Basically, for those of you who have never seen it, it is about a man who discovers that he has the ability to go back in time by using his old journals and has the ability to change things that he doesn't like. Through this process, he travels back several times trying to change things so that he ends up with the girl he wants, has the right friends, the right job and the perfect life. Well, let me just say that things dont go as he had planned.... The reason that I thought this movie was so brilliant was because it explores a facet of the human mind that I think really has never been explored in depth before. I know that everyone has something in their past that they wish they could change. Maybe a regret, an event, relationship or traumatic occurance. "Butterfly Effect" basically explores the scary things that can happen if you were to be able to go back and change things. Life is meant to proceed as it naturally does. The things that happen to us (even the horrible things) have a purpose and a meaning. If those things could somehow be avoided (or changed) what's to say that it wont lead to a greater tragedy in the end? I think that the moral of the butterfly effect is that it's better to live out your life the way you were supposed to than to worry about the what if's and coulda shoulda woulda's that exist.

Barrio School

For a few months now I have been working at an Elementary School here in Dallas. It is in one of the less than delightful areas of town and it has been a life changing experience for me. I originally was assigned to this school to be a reading tutor for my work study job. I was unable to get to the school during normal school hours so I started working with their after school program. As it turns out, the woman who runs the program had been trying to get a drill team started at the school for some of the girls, but since she had no dance experience, she was getting frustrated at their lack of improvement. I had mentioned once to her that I had danced in the past and so just like that I became the coach for this group of girls. I would never have thought that I could learn so much about myself and about the world that I live in in such a short amount of time. A couple of weekends ago, my group marched in a parade and then performed at an event. This was the first chance that I had to actually interact with them outside school and also the first chance that I had to meet their parents. This was a real eye opener for me. One of my favorite little girls' mom showed up to 'drop her off'. She was wearing an extremely scandalous top with abundant cleavage and hickeys all over her neck. Her "boyfriend" who appeared to be no older than 17 years old was all over her. At that time I realized the stark reality that these kids dealt with everyday. I had heard teachers talk about how some kids parents were prostitutes or drug dealers or dealt in human trafficking, but had never really believed it. I also have another little girl in my group who's grandma raises her because her mom was killed by her dad just before he overdosed on Cocaine. These kinds of stories absolutely break my heart. I just cant imagine growing up in a home where your mom is never there and your dad is probably out of the picture, incarcerated or out dealing drugs until the wee hours of the morning just to support his family. I had always thought that poverty was a state of mind, and that if anyone tried hard enough that they could rise above it. Now, I just see that it isn't that easy. I would say about 50 percent of these kids parents are illiterate, 75 percent speak no English and probably close to 95 percent are living below the poverty line, yet these kids are wonderful people. How is it that they are able to cope with so many things that I could probably never deal with? I honestly dont know the answer to that question. Maybe it's because kids are resilient or because they just simply dont know any better, but I do know one thing... that these kids will teach me more than I could ever learn in a classroom and that If I can be 10 percent as strong as them, I will have all the strength in the world.

The Dallasites

Last night I was walking around the West Village with a friend of mine, perusing the multitudes of overpriced clothing, shoes and accessories when I came to a realization. There is a certain type of person who lives in Dallas. I have been relatively sheltered from this breed of person because I rarely venture out of my academic bubble. The person to whom I am refering is the person who is dressed head to toe in some sort of winter white or black designer frock, carrying some sort of designer bag, with some sort of designer shoes, and let's not forget the adorable litte designer dog. They can frequently be found around the shopping malls and chic boutiques parading their goodies for all to see. Last night, I saw a particularly alarming case of the "Dallasite". She was a woman, possibly in her forties, although through the miracle of botox and plastic surgery she could have been in her seventies. She toured around the stores using an extremely fake southern belle accent requesting the help of the poor sales people who struggled to keep up with her outrageous demands. She nearly threw a fit when her perfect bouffant blew in the wind. She eventually got tired with demanding and preening, and proceeded to demand that that the valet bring her gas guzzling porsche SUV around. When will these people learn that the world doesnt revolve around them....?